Confessions of a Monster Movie Agnostic: Part 2
Confessions of a Monster Movie Agnostic: Part 3

By Billy Anderson

PART 1: Toward the Smoggy, Smoky Dawn

I suppose most readers of Film Geek are Monster Movie Fans, but I'm not quite sure about myself. Sometimes I think I'm a Monster Movie Agnostic, rather than a fan.

I'm not positively sure what an Agnostic is, but I think it's someone who doesn't believe, or doesn't know what they believe, relating to matters of God and Faith. Maybe an Agnostic is somebody who just plain doesn't know something.

With some people, I think Monster Movies are a kind of faith. So "Agnostic" might be the right term for someone who doesn't really believe in the Faith of Monster Movies.

Saint Augustine of the Catholic Church wrote his confessions, so Aleister Crowley of the Gnostic Church had to write his own confessions too. I suppose if a Gnostic like Aleister Crowley can write his confessions, then an Agnostic, like myself, should also confess, although I'm not a Saint in any church.

But what about Monster Movies as a Faith? I've noticed that back in the old Gore Creatures Gary Svehla's writers mention "the Faith," referring to their studies about Monster Movies. And, in a recent issue of Roasting Roderick, Liquid Cheese editor Dave Kosanke mentions "keeping the faith."

When people have faith, they usually want to organize themselves into a church. And in your church you have God, Places of Worship, Priests, Saints, Holy Books, and Dogmas and Rituals.

I read a story by David J. Schow, titled "Monster Movies", and it was about this guy meeting this girl in a lounge, and their conversation about Monster Movies. He said that he was an Atheist and she claimed to be an Agnostic, in the usual sense, of matters relating to God and Faith.

But this guy still had a faith of his own, in watching Monster Movies on TV. The TV room was his Place of Worship, the Mummy Kharis was his God, watching films was his ritual, and tea was his Communion Wine. And, I suppose that Famous Monsters magazine was his Holy Book.

There was a lot I could relate to in this guy's story, as well as the memoirs of Monster Movie fans, as told in Holy Books such as Midnight Marquee and, of course, Film Geek. I have a lot of memories of watching Monster Movies in a ritualistic way, on a certain day of the week and at a certain hour, both on TV and at the movie houses. But in my case I never really became a True Believer in the Faith. I had my doubts.

Yes, I wanted to see the 1931 Dracula, but after seeing it on TV my reaction was "Is that all there is?" According to Famous Monsters magazine this is some great film that should be reverenced.

Well, on the rerun, I watched some of the film, but turned the TV off. Once was enough for me. I had half a bottle of scotch, which I started drinking. I know that Forry Ackerman of the Monster Movie Church very strongly disapproves of drinking alcohol, but I sure got a lot more pleasure getting high, and just looking at the wall, than I would have if I had kept on watching that stupid old Monster Movie! I was not going to force myself to watch Dracula again just to observe some stupid Worship Ceremony of a Faith I didn't believe in!

Now I'm not saying I don't like Monster Movies, I do like them. And I love to read the Holy Books of the Monster Movie Faith. I am constantly reading Midnight Marquee. A few years back Gary Svehla announced that the zine would include reviews of such films as Cape Fear and Night Of The Hunter. Wow! That was like some major Doctrine; Change in the Church! Like the Pope Himself has just issued some Great Proclamation!

Currently, the big Doctrinal Debate in Mid Mar is whether or not The Bride Of Frankenstein is "a horror movie for people who don't like horror movies." That is really serious business! I hope the Church doesn't become divided over this matter, since the Priests and Cardinals are expressing some heated opinions.

All this is very amusing, but it's certainly not anything to believe in as a faith.

I'm not saying all the people who like Monster Movies make it into a Faith, in place of God and more traditional Faith. David "the Rock" Nelson is a good example. He likes monster movies, watches a lot of them, and makes his own films. But he's also a Christian, who would never replace Jesus Christ in his life with faith in Monster Movies.

That's probably enough from me for now. In writing my Confessions of a Monster Movie Agnostic, I don't want to confess any sins. "Confessions" is a word sometimes used for a person’s memoirs, and it's in that sense that I am using the word.

I don't really know if you readers are all that interested in my memoirs anyway. But I've found that Monster Movie Fans, both the True Believers and the Agnostics, usually like to read other peoples' Monster Memories. So I'm starting my Confessions of a Monster Movie Agnostic. And you can take it or leave it!