Dr. Duncan MacDougall of Haverhill, Massachusetts in the early twentieth century weighed dying subjects, believing that he was proving that the soul was material and measurable. 21 grams has come to be believed as the accepted measure of a soul's weight.

by It's All Golden

After I was kidnapped for Christ, my boyfriend and I decided we needed some time away from people. The following is a true to life account of the events in my life one fateful night on 12 hits of acid...

Fade into a hotel room, where Goldie sits Indian style on the bed. Jason and James stand talking, as Kelly sits at the table.

:loud knocking at the door:

Jason looks out the window.

Jason: "It's the cops."

James stuffs the weed down his pants.

Goldie: "Shut up. It is not."

Jason: "Ohhh, yes. It really is."

Jason surveys the room, opens the door and greets the two police officers standing there.

Cop 1: "Who rented this room?"

Goldie: "I did Officer, why?"

Cop 2: "What's going on here?"

Goldie: "We're just hanging out. Why?"

Cop 1: "We got a call that there is an acid and marijuana party going on here."

:nervous laughter expels from James:

Jason: "Well, whoever called is wrong. There is no acid or marijuana here."

Goldie: "Yeah, we are just hanging out, drinking pop and eating pizza."

Cop 1: "You care if we look around?"

Jason: "Come on in."

Goldie starts sweating, knowing how many years of prison await all of them if the police find the sheets of acid hidden in the room. The police officers search here and there, looking through the trash cans, the drawers, under the bed. They find nothing. They start to walk to the door.

Jason: "I wonder who would have called and said something like that."

Cop 2: "It was an anonymous call. Miss....(looking at Goldie), do you have a brother?"

Goldie: "Yes."

Cop 2: "It may have been him. It was a man, most likely older rather than younger."

Goldie starts to comprise conspiracy theories in her brain as to why her older brother would do such a thing. The police officers leave the room. Door closes as relief enters the three faces of Goldie's friends.

Goldie: "You guys have to leave. NOW!"

James: "Huh? Why?"

Goldie: "I can't have you here."

James: "We didn't do anything."

Goldie: "I don't care; you both have to leave right now."

James shrugs and looks at Kelly, who stands up and walks out of the room with James.

:door slams shut:

Jason: "Well, that was fucking rude as hell! What the fuck is wrong with you? Those are our friends. They aren't narcs. They've been with us all day."

Goldie: "I can't handle this."

She starts shaking desperately. He sits in the chair adjacent to the bed and stares at her with contempt.

Suddenly, as she stares at the floor near his feet, she watches his leg hair grow thicker. The hair grows at such a rapid rate. His feet turn into hooven claws. She looks at his body from his feet on up, up his legs, past his chest, to his face. His skin begins to grow ruddy looking and darkens. It changes quickly into a bright red, as horns sprout from his forehead. His facial expression is one of tortured amusement.

Goldie: "You're the Devil."

Jason: "What?"

Goldie: "YOU! ARE! THE DEVIL!"

Maniacal laughter bursts from his throat. It suddenly stops.

Jason: "I am not."

Goldie: "Yes. You are."

Jason: "Noooo. I'm not."

Suddenly her devil boyfriend turns into a version of her dead father. She screams.

Jason: "Okay. I'm going in the bathroom for a little while. Please be normal when I come out."

He walks into the bathroom. All is quiet in the room. She looks at the night stand. Earlier in the evening Jason had told her that Bill (their roommate) had brought the mail to the room, along with a trash bag. She looks at the envelopes sitting under the lamp and reads, "Are you sure?" scribbled in black marker across the back of the top envelope.

Excitedly trying to figure out how this phrase fits into her brother's call, the cop's search, the Devil's appearance, and her current paranoia that there is a video camera linked behind the mirror from the next room, watching her every move, she sits down quietly on the bed again. Madness quickly fills her as Jason walks out from the bathroom.

Jason: "Come see the beautiful fairies that the light has in it."

Goldie: "The FBI are next door."

Jason: "Okay, I'll be in here." :closes bathroom door:

She suddenly realizes that she must be dead. After all, why would she see the Devil and her dead father if she were alive? She panics that she is in Hell. Then she realizes that this room is not Hell, but somehow she's missed the white light, the passage to Heaven. In her mind's eye, she sees the front desk with a brilliant white light surrounding it. Harp chords strum sharply in her ears.

She gets up, opens the door, walks past the two men sitting outside drinking beer and heads to the front desk. She gets around the corner and starts running to the front desk.

She opens the door, expecting the brilliant white to surround her, awaiting angels to embrace her. All she sees is the empty desk, with a dim night light as the door closes noisily behind her. From the back room, out walks the night clerk, sleepy-eyed and yawning.

Clerk: "May I help you."

She wonders how she could have missed the opportunity to get into Heaven.

Goldie: "I forgot my room key."

The clerk asks which room and proceeds to give her an additional key. She leaves, very disappointed and saddened.

She gets back to the room and finds it completely empty. Now knowing that she isn't in Hell, and can't find Heaven, and is most certainly dead, and now utterly alone, she concludes that she has been banished to Purgatory.

Crying on the bed, a thought occurs to her that Purgatory isn't a damnation forever; she thinks somehow she must be able to free herself. She looks around and sees all the trash lying around. She begins to sort aluminum cans from the trash. Perhaps recycling will get her out of Purgatory early (you know, on good behavior and all).

Eventually, mentally and emotionally exhausted, but not physically tired at all, she lays down on the bed.

In bursts Jason, panting and breathing very heavily.

Jason: "I just about fucking died!"

Goldie: "I'm already dead."

Jason: "Where the fuck did you go?"

Goldie: "I was looking for Heaven, but all I found was the front desk."

Jason, still panting: "You went to the front desk? I thought you left and went home."

Goldie: "Nope. I'm stuck here forever. I'm glad you are here though."

Jason: "I came out of the bathroom, and you were...just...GONE. I went outside and asked those guys if they'd seen you. And they said you were running around the front of the hotel. Why'd you go to the front desk?"

Goldie: "I'm dead and thought that was how I could enter Heaven."

Jason: "What!"

Goldie: "You heard me."

Jason: "I ended up in the middle of the street; traffic was swirling around me, horns were blaring; I thought for sure I was going to die."

Goldie: "You must be dead to be here. We're in Purgatory you know."

Jason: "You are fucking losing it, seriously. Please stop this."

She starts crying, he holds her and tries to console her.

Jason: "I'm going to kill those fucking Christian bastards that kidnapped you! They've got you brainwashed!"

:incoherent sobs:

Jason: "It's okay. Let's just be still and quiet, and lay down."

He holds her on the bed as she eventually, after what seems like hours, calms down and sleeps.

Fade to black.