I think Madonna said it best: "If we took a holiday, took some time to celebrate, just one day out of life, it would be, it would be so nice."  That about sums up the joy of the holiday season.

You know what else sums up the holiday season?  Giant bugs, violent puppetry, and Japanese drag queens.

Your festive reviewers, The Astro-Critics and Zombie Auxiliary Quilting Bee:

Choconado: Bloody New Year: New year's evil. Or something. (AKA The Island of Lost Clothes.)

Portrait in Flesh: Mardi Gras Massacre: Not all holidays were created equal. Some have more disco than others.

Super Mecha-Dani: Santa Clause Conquers the Martians: Because things just aren't weird enough without including Pia Zadora.

Mayzshon: Santa Claus' Punch and Judy: Santa teaches children the true meaning of Christmas through senseless violence.

Marxo Grouch: Welcome to Spring Break: Titties and beer and a dead guy on a motorcycle, what more do you want?

Dr. Kobb: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation: Witchcraft, bugs, and Clint Howard. It's what the holidays are all about.

Deeky: Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker: Why review this film? Because they made another one.

And what do you do if you're not up to swirling fondue with relatives?  Spend your Pagan Christmas at the Movies with Billy Anderson!

Read up.  It beats overdosing on eggnog.