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Directed by René Cardona
Written by René Cardona, Adolfo Torres Portillo
Starring José Elías Moreno, José Luis Aguirre, Cesáreo Quezadas
Unrated • 1959 • 94 minutes
by Deeky Wentworth
Forget everything you thought you knew about Santa Claus. This movie pisses all over those notions like it's had one too many cervezas. Santa does not live at the North Pole. Nope, he lives in a castle on a cloud in outer space. That ain't the half of it: His reindeer are windup toys, there are no elves, and he has to battle it out with Lucifer for the hearts and minds of all the children down on Earth.
Instead of elves, Santa (José Elías Moreno) has a whole mess of little kids helping him out. Children from every corner of the globe have been sent to help Santa. They labor night and day making toys for other kids the world over. It's like one big multi-ethnic sweatshop (which maybe explains why the African delegation is wearing nothing but leopard-print loincloths… No, I guess it doesn't.)
And Santa has gizmos galore in his … laboratory. He's got a telescope that can spy on anyone anywhere, a giant ear in a radar dish that can pickup even a whisper, and a weird contraption that allows him to see what every child is dreaming about. It's been said Santa knows if you've been bad or good and all that, but until I saw him in action here, I never realized how creepy that really was.
Lucifer doesn't like Santa, but hey, Lucifer doesn't like anyone. He sends Pitch, his top henchman, up to earth to tempt all the kiddies into ill behavior, and thereby pissing off Santa to no end. First and foremost on Pitch's list is Lupita, a poor peasant girl whose only wish is to have a dolly of her own. But try as he might, Pitch can't turn the girl to the dark side of petty theft. She doesn't want to be evil (her words) and shuns Pitch.
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On Christmas Eve Pitch (José Luis Aguirre) does his best to muck things up for Santa, moving chimneys and setting door knobs aflame. But Santa is pretty spry, plus he's got a bag of magic powder given to him by his old friend Merlin. Yeah, Merlin. Apparently he's no longer working for King Arthur and is now mixing things up at Santa's castle. In fact, he's the only other adult there. Forget what I said about the place being like a sweatshop, it's more like Neverland Ranch.
And as much as Pitch is bound to ruin things for Santa, Santa is determined to get Lupita that dolly she wants. He's one final stop before sunrise, which he has to avoid lest the reindeer turn to dust. (Are they vampire reindeer? Fuck if I know. I thought they were mechanical.) But Pitch puts a Doberman between Santa and Lupita, and it's up to Merlin to save the day.
This sort of makes Santa look not only like a wimp, but daft as well. But that's okay, because Lupita gets her doll and Pitch is defeated once more.
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